EP 103: The Burden of Shoulds and Moving Towards Self-Compassion with Alison Cook, PhD

Are you aware of all the expectations you hold yourself to?The day-to-day buzzing of our inner life can feel relentless, can't it? We're all too familiar with the bombardment of 'shoulds' about how we should act, dress, talk, move, etc. It's a struggle that resonates with each one of us, making us feel understood in our shared experiences. We carry so many shoulds from our family of origin, culture, difficult life experiences, work experiences,  people we respect, and people who we want to respect us. But the shoulds that mess with us the most and lead to the heaviest burdens are the stealth shoulds around what we should and should not feel.Today’s guest, Dr. Alison Cook, returns for the third time to share her transformative new book. This isn't just a guide that addresses these 'shoulds ', it's an empowering invitation to unpack our stealth expectations of ourselves and our world. It's an invitation to approach the 'shoulds' that show up in our lives with curiosity and compassion, paving the way for personal growth and self-improvement.Dr. Alison Cook is a psychologist and teacher who has spent two decades helping individuals name what's hard and take brave steps to transform their lives. She is also a best-selling author, teacher, and host of The Best of You podcast. She co-authored Boundaries for Your Soul and is the author of The Best of You, and I Shouldn’t Feel This Way. Alison is also a certified Internal Family Systems therapist, a dear friend, and a trusted colleague.Listen to the full episode to hear:The internal tension and disorientation Alison experienced when she couldn’t accomplish what she “should” haveHow following her system’s lead led Alison to make a surprising connection to another pivotal transition in her lifeUnpacking the familial and cultural origins of our shoulds around work and successThe high personal and social stakes of not making space to name what we’re feeling Why it’s vital to be able to discern who can best support you in processing what you’re going throughHow to cultivate space for yourself to witness the hard things, rather than bypassing from naming to fixing Learn more about Alison Cook, PhD:WebsiteThe Best of You PodcastInstagram: @dralisoncookI Shouldn’t Feel This WayLearn more about Rebecca:rebeccaching.comWork With RebeccaSign up for the weekly Unburdened Leader EmailResources:Ep 50: Embracing the Hot Mess: A Special Anniversary Episode with Alison Cook, PhDEP 25: The Boundary Barriers of Leadership with Psychologist and Author Alison Cook, PhDNotes to Myself: My Struggle to Become a Person, Hugh PratherDaily Affirmation: Valentine's Day - Saturday Night LiveCircle of Grace: A Book of Blessings for the Seasons, Jan RichardsonBob Marley & The Wailers - Redemption SongBob Marley: One LoveFriendsPretty in Pink