416 I Am Centered By Being Peace With My Past | February 2018 Tuesday Week 4

Tag Me Tuesdays-#416 February 20th The Strong Within Daily Affirmation Podcast I Am Centered By Being At Peace With My Past   “I don't have mom issues or dad issues. I think I have found peace about many things in my past. I have forgiven and asked to be forgiven.” ~Xavier Dolan A great swordsman wanted to make amends for the killing he had done over his lifetime. He was considered the best swordsman alive, and so people came near and far to fight him and beat him so they could gain the title. The swordsman did whatever he could to not fight as he’d use sticks, brooms, umbrellas, trash can lids, cooking pans, and even his hands. He knew that if he used a sword, it wouldn’t be a good end for whoever he faced.   He no longer had resorted to defeating people by killing, and to draw a sword would only end in the sword needing to complete its mission of savoring blood. Peace came from the swordsman in knowing that he didn’t have to defeat anyone, it was about forgiving his past, and making amends in the present to be the person he wanted to be.   Are you at peace with your past? I know that sounds like a straightforward answer, but it’s a deeper question that I think takes time to dig into. I believe that any resistance I feel is from not being at peace with something. When something doesn’t feel right, it’s a chance for me to question why am I feeling this way. Why is my stomach in knots, why is my head hurting, why are my shoulders tight, why does my body feel so sluggish right now?   And yes there might physical reasons to those ailments; such as we might have worked out, or we pulled a muscle, or been in an awkward seated position for awhile…but our body, mind, and soul are giving us physical and emotional signals all the time. We’ve gotten in such a hurried manner by being so busy in our lives that we’ve been missing those crucial signals trying to awaken us. And over the years we get numb to the signals and think it’s just a normal part of life.   All those signals are letting us know something isn’t right at the moment; something is out of alignment. And when we don’t listen to those signs, we are destroying something within ourselves. We are destroying our happiness, we are destroying our peace, we are destroying future opportunities of abundance; all by not listening to the signs that are being sent to us whether physically, mentally, or emotionally.   I’ve talked about resentment a lot lately, and it’s because when I have it within my heart it’s gnawing at my soul; it is gnawing at my peace and happiness, as it’s like that sword wanting to taste more blood and destruction. And to take that feeling of resentment and break it down, it comes from the story we are telling ourselves about what happened. It’s a perception about how we are experiencing something, and when we feel hurt it’s easy to put the blame on other people to make them out to be the bad guy. And maybe they did mean to hurt us but when we hold onto resentment for whatever happened, it isn’t hurting the other person it’s only destroying us.   And those things we hold onto, those stories we tell, we think are things protecting us. We use them as mechanisms to deflect us having to do the harder work and trying to fold it into an easier answer. I know personally how it’s much easier to go into self-pity, it’s much easier to make someone else the bad guy, it’s much easier to find resentment for things not working out how we expected…than to tell a different story. A story that helps us create peace in our lives.   I’m not saying that we ignore people hurting us, but most people in our lives aren’t out there trying to purposefully hurt us. But if there are people out to purposefully hurt us, it’s from behaviors they learned long ago that they think will help them survive in their world.  It doesn’t make it right, but when we stop putting the blame on people hurting us and decide to tell a story of being in control, then the peace in our life changes. You see, it wasn’t about them doing something to us, it was us deciding how we wanted to feel about it and move on in a way that was healthy for us. And I’ve done a lot of unhealthy things in my life like hold onto pain, resentment, hurt, revenge, or whatever negative emotion I could utilize because that was easier to do than to say I was in control of how I wanted to feel.   And as I said earlier, living with that pain and resentment, only keeps you in misery. And it keeps you actively destroying small pieces of yourself over and over again stealing the peace and calm you truly desire. And peace all comes down to two things: What story are you telling about the experience? And then choosing to live in the story that brings healing instead of living within   The choice is ALWAYS yours. And to live a life that matters, to live a life that feels good most times—is to choose to know you are always in control of how you want to feel…about anything.   Today’s Personal Commitment:The most crucial question you can ask is, “is holding onto this more important than…?” Is holding onto this more important than being at peace in my life…is holding onto this more important than the happiness in my life, is holding onto this more important than being able to move forward to better things in the future? Because holding onto the pain and resentment will only bring one thing, more of the same, and it will kill the opportunities of having a better future by living in the past of your pain.   This is about making peace with your past, making peace with people, and making peace with yourself. Because what we hold onto is actually holding onto us. Because what we hold onto that doesn’t feel good is what is destroying us. We have become our own swordsman killing more and more parts of our happiness in every moment.   And to believe more in pain, chaos, and resentment is to not have faith in anything but misery. Natalie Cole sums it up nicely I think… “I had to make peace with my past because I can't change it.”   So let us do what we can by changing our present moment as we focus on healthier ways of living. Because if you think about past resentments you held onto years ago, most times you’ve forgotten about it, or it worked itself out. So by holding onto that negative experience, we are receding the process of healing to keep us trapped longer within our pains.   If you are feeling out of alignment, write down what resentments or pains you’re holding onto, why you are holding onto them…and ask yourself two questions: Is holding onto this more important than having peace, love, joy in my life? And if it isn’t how can I pivot from my pain into focusing on a better way of looking at it and dealing with it?   I Am Centered By Being At Peace With My Past   Thanks for listening.  I'm sending great energy your way as we become Strong Within together, Personal Development Life Coach- Chris O'Hearn Contact info- email: [email protected]  phone:865-219-3247     Music by: - Zest by basematic (c) copyright 2011 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license. - I Have Often Told You Stories (guitar instrumental) by Ivan Chew (c) copyright 2013 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license. Location: Knoxville, Tennessee USA but available worldwide