68. S6, Ep1: Writing it out: autism and shame, memory, sexuality and self expression

Amy Lee Lillard is co-host of a feminist book podcast, and also an author; her first book, Dig Me Out, a collection of short stories, was published in 2021.  Now 44, she lives in Des Moines, Iowa in the USA and was diagnosed autistic just last year. She wrote her book before she was aware of her autism, and found afterwards that she had essentially written a collection of autistic characters, without intending to. She says: “I write about the intersections of gender, sexuality and the patriarchy, and how it makes rage the only logical option. Once I understood myself to be autistic, I better understood this anger.” She is childfree and queer, and was the first person in her working class family to graduate college. In our conversation we talk about: ➡ Upbringing, social class, generational undiagnosed autism and their impact on how we see and experience difference and disability ➡ Autism and memory, dissociation and trauma ➡ How autism, sexuality and gender interplay ➡ Being childfree ➡ Shame and internalised judgement ➡ Writing for self expression and self understanding Squarepeg is a podcast in which neurodivergent women, and trans and nonbinary people, explore navigating a neurotypical world and share their insights, challenges and successes. I hope that these conversations will be inspiring and thought provoking, open you up to new ways of thinking about being neurodivergent, and help you feel more connected to a worldwide community of people with similar experiences. I’m Amy Richards, and after being diagnosed autistic at the age of 37 I’m now on a mission to learn more about different perspectives and issues around being a neurodivergent adult in a world that feels like it doesn’t quite fit.   EPISODE LINKS: Amy's website - www.amyleelillard.com Her podcast: www.broadsandbooks.com  Her Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/amyleelillard/   If you'd like to connect or get in touch with Squarepeg, you can find me on: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/squarepeg.community/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/squarepegautism  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/squarepegautism/  Or on my website: https://squarepeg.community/    THANK YOU TO MY PATRONS! A HUGE thank you to my amazing patrons, who support my work on the podcast: Abi Hunter, Amy Adler, Amy-Beth Mellor, Abigail J Moore, Ben Davies, Benita Borchard-Thierbach, Caroline, Cat Preston, Catrin Green, Cindy Bailey, Corinne Cariad, Danielle Warby, Dawn Trevellion, Elizabeth Williams, Elise, Jackie Allen, Jason White, Jeff Goldman, Kate Faust, Katharine Richards, Katherine Lynch, Lea Li, Lilli Simmons, Lyb, Mandy Allen, Pete Burke, Rebecca Kemp, Sarah Cottrell, Sarah Jeffery, Sarah Swanton, Sioned Wynn, Suzanna Chen, Suzanne, Tree Hall, Una Walkenhorst, Vera Cady, Vicki Temple and Victoria Routledge. If you’re enjoying the Squarepeg podcast and would like to help me carry on making new episodes, you can become a member of the Squarepeg community on Patreon from just £3 per month: https://www.patreon.com/squarepegpodcast