109 [S9 E4] Little glimpses underneath the mask: unravelling people-pleasing and imposter syndrome

Gemma Gray is a strategic marketing consultant from Edinburgh in Scotland. She left her long-term role following a burnout two years ago and became self-employed. She is a parent to an autistic daughter, and was diagnosed herself in March this year, aged 46. Still in the early days of her diagnosis, she says she is unravelling being a people-pleasing professional masker with chronic low self esteem and imposter syndrome. Eight years ago, before her own diagnosis, Gemma set up a Facebook group for parents of autistic children, which is still going strong, and she has recently been awarded funding to research employment opportunities for autistic women.   We talk about: ➡ Ableism and work, and finding freedom in self employment ➡ People pleasing, hating confrontation, and learning to say no ➡ Her rural childhood, being bullied at school, and befriending an elderly shepherdess and the school janitor ➡ Her journey to getting her daughter diagnosed, and not seeing her own autism because she was comparing herself to her young daughter   Squarepeg is a podcast in which neurodivergent women, and trans and nonbinary people, explore navigating a neurotypical world and share their insights, challenges and successes. I hope that these conversations will be inspiring and thought provoking, open you up to new ways of thinking about being neurodivergent, and help you feel more connected to a worldwide community of people with similar experiences. I’m Amy Richards, and after being diagnosed autistic at the age of 37 I’m now on a mission to learn more about different perspectives and issues around being a neurodivergent adult in a world that feels like it doesn’t quite fit.   EPISODE LINKS: Gemma’s LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/grayconsultinguk Her private FB group for parents of autistic children, Colouring Outside The Lines: https://www.facebook.com/groups/185070228524321  Instagram: https://instagram.com/latetotheautismparty Churchill Fellowship: https://www.churchillfellowship.org/    If you'd like to connect or get in touch with Squarepeg, you can find me on: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/squarepeg.community/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/squarepegautism  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/squarepegautism/  Or on my website: https://squarepeg.community/    THANK YOU TO MY PATRONS! A HUGE thank you to my amazing patrons, who support my work on the podcast: Abi Hunter, Adam Klager, Alice Kemp, Amy Adler, Amy-Beth Mellor, Amy Sullivan, Anika Lacerte, Annette, Becky Beasley, Ben Davies, Carly Melling, Caroline, Cat Preston, Catrin Green, Charlotte Keen, Cindy Bailey, Corinne Cariad, Dana Bradley, Danielle Warby, Deborah Cullinan, Dennis McNulty, Elizabeth Williams, Erica Kenworthy, Evgeniia Pupysheva, Ewan McNeill, Fiona Connor, Frederike, Galina, Grace, Gwyneth, H Arena, Hannah Breslin, Heather Peake, Hegatronix, Jackie Allen, Jayne Hutchinson, Jeff Goldman, Jen Bartlett, Jo, Julie, Katarzyna Tomaszewska, Kate and Kathryn, Kate Faust, Katharine Richards, Katherine Lynch, Lara, Laura, Leo Ricketts, Lilli Simmons, Linda Brown, Lisa Joy Powley, Liz, LQ, Lyb, Mandy Allen, Marjory Webber, Martine, Melissa Shaw, Meredith L. Freyre, Monica Toohey, NC, Pete Burke, Rebecca, Rebecca Biegel, Sadie Slater, Sarah Ivinson, Sarah Jeffrey, Sarah Swanton, Shauna Schramke, Suzanna Chen, Suzanne, Talia's Nature, Tammie Fabien, Tamsen Staniford, Tessa Valyou, Vic Wiener, Vicki Temple, Victoria Routledge, Wendy Walker, Zephyrine Craster and Zoe Lee.   If you’re enjoying the Squarepeg podcast and would like to help me carry on making new episodes, you can become a member of the Squarepeg community on Patreon from £3 per month: https://www.patreon.com/squarepegpodcast