TPJ 36: Atheism and Spirituality

In this episode we’re going to talk about religious practices, faith, and religious communities. People often ask me about how they can combine their passion and commitment to parenting from a loving and respectful place with their commitment to their faith (which might be based on a type of rewards system itself!) It’s a tough but important question to answer. And this doesn’t apply to just organized religion; it’s applicable to any sort of belief system or way of life (like veganism, atheism, or any of the other “isms”). 

• [4:08] How do we get our children to adopt our belief system without controlling or manipulating? 
• [6:20] Dr. Shefali shares her thoughts on religion and parenting.
• [11:44] Those raised in a religious home often feel obligated to “carry the torch”. 
• [15:15] Any religion, belief, or way of life can come from a place of love or fear. 
• [16:59] Trying to force others into our beliefs is a sign of insecurity. 
• [18:09] Others raised in a religious home completely abandon their faith as they come of age.
• [19:25] It doesn’t have to be “all-or-nothing”. We can throw out what doesn’t serve us and keep what does.
• [23:06] Use critical thinking and discernment.
• [24:34] Check our motives; are we doing (or not doing) something because we’re afraid of what others might think or say? 
• [26:22] Do our beliefs make us separatists?
• [27:41] Is there duality in our beliefs? 
• [29:41] We should share our beliefs with our children and give them space to explore and make their own interpretations. 
• [30:15] Instead of forcing, controlling, or manipulating religious activity, let’s inspire it.
• [33:20] Try to create positive interactions. Make the positive to negative ratio 5:1.

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Links & Resources

• Gottman Institute article 
• Show notes: www.theparentingjunkie.com/36