227. How to Clear a Money Fog With Mikelann Valterra

What can I afford? How much is enough? What is now possible? Now, these are big questions you want to be able to answer. Mikelann Valterra’s mission is to help all of us heal our relationship with money and really understand how to use it in today's world. What I hope you listen for today as we talk about her new book, Rise Above the Money Fog, is how we talk about money with our loved ones. (Check out her book here: https://www.riseabovethemoneyfog.com) Mikelann says people feel stress and anxiety over being financially vague. The money fog is this combination of the feelings we feel as a result of not being clear about our money. Fog stands for stands for when we're in fear about our money, when we're in overwhelm, or when we feel guilty around our money. “There's just all of this secrecy around money that we all carry because we have this message from childhood that says, don't talk about money,” says Mikelann. In her book, Mikelann describes three different types of families. (Listen in for their challenges!) As parents, normalize talking about money. For many, the first time they talk about money is college funding – that’s a bit late. Mikelann recommends helping children look at what they need versus what they want. List making with kids – what they want as gifts, or what they need for school – is a good way to talk about money. Then, over time, you bring your kids into family meetings. Some things cost a lot of money, and that's okay. Look at where we want to choose to put our money as a family. Mikelann says she has all her clients create needs and wants lists.  “Many of us are suppressed in our needs and wants and our desires,” says Mikelann. “We have been trained to keep our needs small, and this has an impact on our relationship to money. Guilt starts to settle in of like either ‘I'm selfish for wanting it’, or ‘I should feel guilty for wanting it’ as opposed to ‘how could we make this happen?’ ” As people rise out of the money fog, they come to the place in their life where they know the answers to what they can afford, how much is enough and what's possible in their life.  The problem is when transition happens, the answers to those three questions tend to change. That can catch us by surprise. And while some transitions are not voluntary (inflation, the pandemic, the economy), we still have to ask the questions. When people aren't clear about their money, it leads some people to overspend or underspend. They don't know how much is enough. They don't know what the goal is around earning. They know something's not quite working, but there's no clarity there. That's why the money fog creates so much anxiety. Mikelann says the answer to knowing how much is enough for you is to create an annual income and spending plan.  “What's exciting is it's about vision,” says Mikelann. “What do you want your year to look like? And now let's put numbers in it.” She says most of the fear lies in getting to the number. But a lot of times, the number is different or lower than the what’s in her client’s heads. It’s powerful and empowering. Take the money fog quiz: https://seattle-money-coach.mykajabi.com/money-fog-quiz-ebook  Connect with guest Mikelann Valterra: https://www.seattlemoneycoach.com  Other GoG episodes you might want to check out: Do You Know Your Financial Personality: https://youtu.be/LCqgmcXJotM?si=ixf9XKkZ-AUuTzE4  What Women Need to Know to Manage Their Money: https://sarahwalton.com/money-management-women/  3 Money Myths Keeping You Broke: https://youtu.be/za8Lvortnr0?si=qBroGpJDEUUXn506  You can check out our podcast interviews on YouTube, too! http://bit.ly/YouTubeSWalton   Thank you so much for listening. I’m so honored that you’re here and would be so grateful if you could leave a quick review on Apple Podcasts by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, and clicking “Write a review.” Then we’ll get to inspire even more people! (If you’re not sure how to leave a review, you can watch this quick tutorial.) #FinancialPsychology #MoneyTalk #FamilyMoney #MoneyManagement #FinancialFreedom #MoneyCoach #SalesCoach #MoneyFog #AskExpert