The Shame I Couldn't Talk About

Anna K., an anesthesiologist with over 20 years of sobriety, vividly describes an unforgettable night when she gave herself a combination of the narcotics she would administer to patients. This crisis event forced her to confront her own addiction and seek help. Throughout her recovery, Anna has had what she describes as an “exciting period of discovery,”  getting to understand and heal the inner conflicts that were underneath her substance abuse. As part of that process, she got to look at how much of her activity and outward success was driven by an aching need “to matter.”  Now, very active in her recovery, she lives a life of profound connection and meaning, extending help to others who are suffering as she was. Even more than the gratitude she has for her own life, she is overwhelmingly grateful that recovery changed the trajectory of her children’s lives as well. 0:01 – Intro 1:28 – The crisis that brought Anna to treatment 5:34 – Previous attempt at getting sober 9:00 – Beneficial effect of working the 4th and 5th Steps 11:00 – Getting used to 12 Step meetings and a sponsor 14:35 – Learning to get in touch with difficult feelings 18:14 – The progression of Anna’s drinking and drug use 24:40 – Benefits of the Recovering Professionals Program 30:17 – How recovery changed her children’s lives 32:20 – Getting involved in Al-Anon 39:57 – Changing her ideas about God 41:45 – What she would pass on to people listening