Mental Clutter 101

Many of us have been decluttering our homes for some time. But what about our brains? Mental clutter is real. Parenthood can feel heavy. We are tackling the 10 reasons that parenthood feels cluttered and overwhelming.



1. Mindless Social Media



Spending mindless time scrolling on social media feels a lot like eating marshmallows. They taste good in the moment, but make you feel like crap afterwards. Marshmallows are so easy to pop right in your mouth. Just one. Maybe two. Okay, perhaps another handful. 





Oof. Why did I do that? Why do things that taste so good in the moment make me feel miserable after the fact?
As parents, we don’t have a lot of free time. One thing is for sure:Spending idle time scrolling social media does not help us recharge our batteries. In fact, it may add to our mental clutter. 





2. Idealizations of Family Life



A family trip to the beach for sunset:




* Idealized Reality: The sun is setting with minimal cloud covering. The family is frolicking in breezy white linen attire. The smiles and laughs are light and natural. Everyone is barefoot. 


* Actual Reality: It’s too cloudy to see the sunset. The toddler is wearing a Batman t-shirt. The children repeatedly attempt to run into the water. Mom is stressed out and gritting her teeth. At least one child can’t stand the feeling of being barefoot in the sand. 




The truth is...When we are chasing idealized images of family life, actual reality looks ugly. Are you getting caught up in how things are “supposed to be”? This is mental clutter. 



3. Pinterest



On a casual Tuesday while the Glazed and Lacquered Roast Turkey is in the oven developing that burnished mahogany skin, you can use your free hand to crank out a homemade unicorn kaleidoscope craft with your enthusiastic kiddos while simultaneously knitting a new hat with your toes. 



Let’s talk about self-imposed pressure. Pinterest (and the interweb) offers us no shortage of picture perfect meals, crafts, and hobbies that can quickly leave us feeling like we aren’t doing enough. 



Do what delights you, but don’t let Pinterest plant seeds of self-doubt. You are enough just the way you are. 



4. Performance Reviews



Each year, annual performance reviews at your job might make you nervous. They leave you thinking: Am I doing things right? Am I good enough? How can I improve? Even if you aren't performing perfectly, the feedback from the evaluator is generally constructive and positive. That is, until you take on the job title “Parent". 



As a Parent, it can feel like you get hourly performance reviews. The evaluator (your child) rarely holds back. She’s a stream on nonsensical emotions with expectations that make your head spin. Despite best efforts, it appears she's never satisfied with your hard work. 



5. Recognizing Seasons of Life



There’s something so inviting about gardening. I crave the ability to grow my own food to provide for my family. The slow, intentional nature of taking it day-by-day as the seeds I have sown sprout from the Earth…the whole idea is so attractive for me. 



But right now, with young children, I suck at gardening. It doesn't feel relaxing to me, it feels like mental clutter. My lettuce bolts. The birds eat every last blueberry. And most days I don’t have the energy to water it.