Episode 115: Connection - with your heroes, yourself and those you simply don't like

In this episode Stephen and I discuss "Connection" and how it is much more than a shared contact, a shared history or a shared workplace - these are simply things we have in common. Connection is more and is vital for Influence - your ability to shape and to influence and also your willingness to be shaped.Some time is also spent on understanding your heroes - and why to admire them.  This is a bridge to better connecting with yourself which then helps you to better connect with others.And Stephen guides us into how it's possible to connect to anyone - even those you are certain you cannot - by positively looking for something to admire.Some interesting topics in this one - and a small bonus at the end which made me smile.Below are some notes I took - hope you find them useful.  Any comments - email us at [email protected] and also make sure to check Stephen's self coaching site - coachpro.onlineThanksNotes:Connection is not the same thing as having things in commonBeing clear about the difference allows you to set the right expectationsWorking for the same business doesn’t mean we are connected – we just work in the same placeFor us to have a connection – I’d need to understand what that shared memory means for you – and you for meHaving something in common is a good place to start identifying who you can connect withTime doesn’t create a connection – it just gives you more shared momentsA common conclusion can mean being on the same page – but if you haven’t got there for the same reasons you may not have a connectionWhy would you want to connect?   Either you want to connect to help to shape – influence – “it” or you want “it” to shape and influence you.You cannot influence without connection – otherwise you’re trying to influence from a distance, and it won’t landIf you cannot connect you won’t be a proactive influencerGood to understand this and so you can choose who and what you are connected to – if you don’t choose someone else will.3 levels of connection – Intuitive – Emotional – IntellectualThis process helps you to better connect to yourselfConnecting better internally – allows you to connect better externallyThe characteristics you admire in others – or dislike in others – come from your own inner workingsYou identify with characteristics that you recognise as being within youTo admire you have to connect – to connect you have to identify – to identify you need to see it – to see it you need to recognise itA group of people may identify one popular hero – but we will choose different reasons because – intuitively – we are connecting with characteristics we see within ourselvesWhat we admire in others is a projection of what we have inside – one reason good people are fooled by bad people – they can’t recognise the traits and reasons for why people would do itHate is similar – you “hate” characteristics that you can identify with“you are saying that these are the characteristics I have – whether or not I’m showing them or disconnected from themPeople project different characteristics onto successful peopleOperational: Be aware of the characteristicsManagerial: Broaden out your characteristics by considering who else you admireStrategic: Choose which characteristics you should connect to for different situations“I bring my board with me to help me to host events”Ask your self – who do you admire in these situations – and what would they tell you?However big your plan – if you think you can do it alone – you’re not thinking big enoughYou get to choose who you want – have fun! There are incredible people out there.We’re more scared to admire nowadays – we’re worried about being proved wrongThere are fantastic people out there – let them in!To connect – look for qualities you can admire in the person you are meetingWhatever you go looking for – you’ll find – choose to look for something positive.“What can I admire about this person” – find somethingLaw of Reciprocation – the more you connect and admire about them – the more they will connect and admire youIt is about admiration – not liking – a person or an organisation Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.