88 - DATING - Why Your Body Hates 'Healthy Relationships' + The Biology of The Spark, The Chase & The Ick

Chasing hot and cold behavior, tolerating inconsistency & trying to change emotional unavailability doesn’t sound attractive, so why the F is it attractive to some of us? Does the truth lie within our nervous system? Sarah Murphy, biology of trauma expert, would say yes and that someone with a dysregulated nervous system, who is wired for a high baseline of stress, will find stable relationships and people *boring* and will search for a chemical cocktail of excitement from people who are just not quite right for them. The pair get into:  How attraction ties back to our nervous system Why we keep attracting the same types of people repeatedly Why we search for a highs through romantic love and romantic drama Why stable relationships feel so boring to some of us Why Mr. Nice Guy, or Mr. Nice Girl can feel so uncomfortable too Why the spark disappears as the relationship progresses The biology of the ick ‘Love addiction’ and whether being addicted to someone is the same as being addicted to a drug The biochemical drivers of cheating Louise also shares her experience of how her ex reaching out to her after two years impacted her on a VERY interesting biochemical level. ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––40% OFF YOUR HEALING GIRL OUTFIT WITH LILYBOD This episode is sponsored by Lilybod. To redeem your 40% off click here, using code ⭐ OPENHOUSE40 ⭐ at check out:AU: https://lilybod.com/discount/OPENHOUSEUK: https://uk.lilybod.com/discount/OPENHOUSE Louise selects: Baseline Legging - https://lilybod.com/products/c12-leggings-baseline-black?_pos=1&_sid=aba8df7b0&_ss=r Sam Shelf Bra - https://lilybod.com/collections/tops/products/lilybod-sam-shelf-bra-top-tarmac-black-lc95-tb Astrid Sports Bra - https://lilybod.com/products/c12-sports-bra-astrid-tarmac-black?_pos=1&_sid=f23f65ea9&_ss=r Harmony Ribbed Tank - https://lilybod.com/products/core-collection-top-harmony-ribbed-tank-white?_pos=2&_psq=ribbed%20tank%20white&_ss=e&_v=1.0 Layla Sweater - https://lilybod.com/collections/tops/products/c14-tops-jackets-layla-obsidian-gray The Mental Health Mushroom - LIONS MANE - 20% OFF with code OPENHOUSE: https://mytwentytwo.co.uk/ ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––Connect with Louise on Instagram: @iamlouiserumballFollow Louise (The Therapy Girl) on TikTok: @thetherapygirl__Connect with OPENHOUSE: @openhouselifeConnect with Sarah on Instagram: @thepotentplantSign up to join the OPENHOUSE mailing list to receive first access to all workshops, courses and live events: www.thisisopenhouse.com––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices