274: Healing From Paternal Postpartum Depression with Kevin Seldon

Today, we are highlighting the importance of mental well-being for fathers worldwide. Today’s episode features a devoted father who shares his personal journey through postpartum depression after the birth of his child. Kevin Seldon is the founder of a leading social-impact consultancy with clients ranging from award-winning artists and Fortune 500 companies to world-renowned non-profits. However, more than a decade of building a company focused on inspiring passion in others and five years of struggling to build a family left him devoid of any passion within himself. When he and his wife finally found themselves expecting their first child, Kevin took an extended leave from all of his business endeavors and turned off his phone for a year to focus on his family and reconnect with himself. He found the experience exhilarating, exhausting, and lonely. Being shocked at the lack of support available to dads who seemed to be completely excluded from parenting culture led him to launch DILF, as in “Dad I’d Like to . . . FRIEND,” a top parenting podcast. DILF has broken into Apple’s Top 50 Parenting Podcast charts around the world, while recently hitting #6 on the US charts. What began as a simple forum to seek support from dads Kevin would want to . . . friend has evolved into a global community focused on the mental health of parents. In this community, ALL parents are welcome, regardless of cultural background, sexual orientation, and gender. The conversation moves beyond life with kids to focus more on the life of each human (who happens to be a parent), to focus on how they can thrive while attempting to be the best version of themselves. Show Highlights: How Kevin sunk into a deep depression during the five-year infertility journey with his wife How his wife’s diabetes led to a difficult pregnancy and traumatic birth that resulted in a NICU stay for his son and emergency surgery for his wife How Kevin tried to be present and bond with his son in the NICU but felt rejected in the parenting process when they went home How he knew something “was off” with his mood/temperament but found comfort and connection through doing nighttime feedings with his son Why Kevin decided to take a year off from work to spend extended time with his wife and son How he still battled depression but experienced a pivotal moment of bonding with his son during a nighttime feeding How Kevin became a stay-at-home dad not welcome at mom groups and with no dad friends—-and launched a podcast that became widely popular Why dads feeling alone and isolated is a world problem with very little recognition and support How dads can have postpartum depression because of the change in identity, sleep deprivation, change in relationship, etc.  How our mental health is affected by our lack of human connection–and what we need to teach our kids How Kevin realized that he had postpartum depression (even though his wife didn’t know) and what the statistics show Why it’s important to give men the space to talk about their feelings How Kevin and his wife navigate “maternal gatekeeping,” co-parenting, and their team dynamic as a couple Why the term “co-parenting” needs to be redefined Why Kevin’s podcast seeks to be inspiring, positive, open, and supportive Key takeaways about allowing space for everyone and protecting mental health and relationships Resources: Connect with Kevin: Website, Podcast, Parenting Survey, and Instagram Visit www.postpartum.net for resources and support!  Visit www.postpartum.net/professionals/certificate-trainings/ for information on the grief course.   Visit my website, www.wellmindperinatal.com, for more information, resources, and courses you can take today!