Feeling Trapped with Kat Brown

Trigger Warning: Mentions of suicidal ideation, mental health struggles, and rape I had the pleasure of chatting to Kat Brown in today's episode. I first met Kat at a women's circle I was hosting. She was so honest and open and raw and just had this magnetic quality, that I really wanted to learn more about her. This conversation with Kat is no different. She shares her honest and important story, expressing what it's like to go through this experiences and how she's finding life right now. My hope with sharing Kat's honest and raw story - and all those which have endings we hope won't be our own endings - is that you know whatever happens, you'll be okay. Kat is a freelance journalist covering arts, social media culture, and equestrian travel. Her work has appeared in The Telegraph, the i, the independent, Grazia and others. In this episode, we speak about: • Kat’s journey from growing up to where she is now • The sense of claustrophobia when you’re trying to conceive and feeling like there’s no way out • The importance of not bulldozing real, raw feelings and emotions with toxic positivity • How common it is to become so consumed by what we’re trying to achieve that we lose all the little parts of ourselves • The realness of Disenfranchised Grief, and how it needs to become more normalized and supported in society • Not everyone is having pets over babies - the companionship is incredible! • Being unsure of what’s coming “next” is okay, and how the passing of time is an important part of the process of healing and growth • and more! Powerful Quotes: We were excited about it in the same way you’re excited about getting a new carpet...Then it just didn’t happen. And it kept not happening.  When I had that realization, it was like the universe collapsed into a black hole. Lost all ability to think, be or do anything. All my feelings were just concentrated on this insane, laser focused, diamond sharp devastation. I remember going: Everything is lovely. How can everything be so broken and awful when the world is so sunny and beautiful and lovely? Not even remotely grateful for infertility, but life happens and something else happens after that, and eventually we may be able to chart a course. Something I do feel really happy about is that I don't feel like the infertility is my fault or it’s my fault for not being able to give my husband any children. The only reason I'm in any kind of all right state right now is because of the passing of time. Unfortunately when something really aggressively, violently bad to you happens, the only thing that’s going to “fix” that is time. Connect with Kat: https://twitter.com/katbrown https://www.instagram.com/katbrownwrites/ https://www.katbrownwrites.com/ Thank you for listening to the Fertility Life Raft! I would love for you to share this episode and let me know what you think! Join our Instagram community for more support: www.instagram.com/thisisalicerose . As always please take a moment to rate and review right now or half way through or at the end - it makes the world of difference!! Thank you so much to everyone who has already. I’m running a free live event, Reclaiming You, on 21 April and 22 April for anyone trying to bring home a baby and finding themselves feeling lost; stuck in a ‘left behind’ mentality; exhausted and in comparison mode. Read more about it, to see if it’s suitable for you and join me by saving your space here. About Alice Rose Hi! I'm Alice and I am on a mission to support and empower anyone trying to grow their family (and while I’m at it, changing the social narrative we see around fertility too...) Learn more about me at www.thisisalicerose.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices