Ep 165: Writing Fears and How to Overcome Them: Feeling Not Good Enough

A few times I brought my high school English papers to my dad for him to look over. Trained as a newspaper editor, he’d reach into his desk drawer and pull out either a red pen or a soft black pencil he used at work. Sometimes he’d mark it on the fly while I was standing there, narrating his reasoning as the pencil left ominous black marks on the paper. Other times I’d leave it with him and return to find entire paragraphs X’d out, words and phrases circled or deleted, giant question marks in the margins, and arrows pointing out problems here, there, and everywhere. If I still had a copy of those drafts, I know now—as an adult—that his corrections significantly improved my work. As a teen, though, I didn’t see it that way. Corrections felt like criticism, and I walked away dejected. I wasn’t good enough. What’s your story? Have you endured an interaction where someone gave you the impression or outright told you that when it comes to writing, you aren’t good enough? Did a parent, teacher, or editor offer criticism that caused you to question your writing hopes and dreams? More recently, has anyone asked you to write something you’ve never attempted before and you thought, “I’m not good enough to write that?” Have you signed up for a writing course only to realize your classmates seem far more experienced and knowledgeable—each time you turn in a project, their harsh comments cause your heart to crumble like one of those buildings that implodes and collapses into rubble? Have you started work on a writing project feeling bold and brilliant—maybe you got some positive remarks from a few people—and then you’re suddenly hit with imposter syndrome, and you think: “I’m not good enough to do this!”? You’re not alone. Many writers fear they aren’t good enough, and some never get a project off the ground because the fear takes over. It shuts down their creativity and keeps them from finishing. If they manage to finish, they’re too afraid to share it with the world. Fears Upon Fears The fear of not being good enough is often tangled up with other struggles and fears so that we have fears upon fears: * fear of judgment * fear of criticism * fear of rejection * fear of failure * imposter syndrome * people pleasing personalities * perfectionism * self-doubt * insecurity * anxiety We're complex people and some of us are a bundle of neuroses. Understanding ourselves can give us insight into our writing roadblocks. As we identify our fears, we take a step toward overcoming them. Write the story behind your fears That’s my first suggestion: write about it. Write the story behind your fears. Not for publication; rather, write about it in a private journal, for your own benefit. If you feel you aren't good enough to write, ask yourself why you believe that. Write out scenes from your past where that message came through. Recall the scowls and frowns, those jabs and insults, those question marks and arrows and X’d out paragraphs that you carried with you into adulthood. Root out the experiences that have formed your unchanging, stifling belief. Sort out the complexities. When fears cause us to stop Whether comparing themselves to other writers or feeling haunted by criticism from their past, writers can struggle with crippling fear that they are not good enough. Sometimes it manifests as self-doubt that nips at every word they tap out on the keyboard. Sometimes it manifests as perfectionism that expects such shimme...