Episode 170: A Deeper Dive into the Courage to Be Yourself

SIGN UP FOR KEN REA'S MASTERCLASS The Language of Letting Go: “When I meet people or get in a new relationship, I start putting all these repressive restrictions on myself. I can't have my feelings, can't have my wants and needs, can't have my history, can't do the things I want, feel the feelings I'm feeling, or say what I need to say. I turn into this repressed, perfectionist robot instead of being who I am. Me.” In auditions in the past, I would put restrictions, repressive restrictions on myself.  Don't laugh too hard.  Don't push Don’t flub. The fact of the matter is, I'm far more charming being imperfect.  If I am repressing myself and feeling like I can't have my wants in my needs, and I need to make this podcast absolutely perfect or, people aren't going to listen to it.  It’s actually the opposite.  When you have the courage to be yourself. You are magnetic, people are attracted to you. Sometimes we feel like, “Oh, I’m going to be judged” or “What would they think of me?” Or “what are they thinking of me?”   And the funny thing is that, especially in acting, if you’re worried about what they're thinking of you, you’re not acting in that scene. And therefore your work is not moment to moment. It is not special. It is not courageous. It is not playful and dynamic. But, who else can we be? Who else would you want to be? We don't need to be anybody else.  “I just need to allow myself to be my imperfect self, living, and breathing, and being here as I am.” That is that's neat. That's cool. That's magnetic. That's playful. That's fun. And that is what gets the job. Not even the job, but the connection with the casting director.  You don't audition for the job. You audition for the relationship. We may be afraid that if we just relax and be ourselves, the other person will shame us.  And shame is a belief that there is something defective about you. And shame is tough to heal, but it's not impossible.  When we have shame and we feel that maybe there is a part of us that is not good enough and there's that fear that somebody else might see that too. But the Truth, the truth with a capital T (the energy that knows best, the universal Truth) is, of course, that is bullshit.  There may be damage, but that damage can be healed. And the only one who can heal it is me or you.  When we are relaxed and we accept ourselves, we then thereby give permission to other people to do the same. And isn't that the greatest gift?  “By you letting your light shine. You thereby allow others to let their light shine.”- Marianne Williamson. I no longer want to dim my light so that other people will feel more comfortable.  I no longer want to lessen my own power so that others will feel more powerful or less insecure.  How do I take that energy, that passion within, and just allow it to explode?  If others don't appreciate us, do we really want to be around them? Do we need to let the opinions of others control us and our behavior?  Empowering Questions: How do I let the opinions of others control me and my behavior? How can I start to let that go?  And what will that look like?  What will my life look like when I allow myself to let that go?    Giving ourselves permission to be who we are can have a healing influence on our relationships.  The tone relaxes We relax The other person relaxes  Everybody feels a little less shame Truth: Who we are is all we can be, and it is enough.  One of my favorite affirmations: I am enough, I am enough, I am enough. “It gets better, it gets worse, it gets different, it gets real.”  “When I'm in that feeling of being enough. I give others permission to know that they are enough.” So today, whatever day you're listening to this. Give yourself permission to be enough.